Last night I sat writing as my baby slept and wondering what the heck I should've been doing. Well...I know what I SHOULD'VE been doing but as the room lied in shambles I was still not finding much motivation to do anything but relax after 12 hours of hardcore playing.
Seriously though, I have such a hard time finding a balance. I watched Eat. Pray. Love. today for the first time and it really resonated with me. Julia Roberts was having a hard time balancing between finding herself and losing herself to love. For me it's trying to find the right balance of work, play, love. I need it though. I'm trying to adjust accordingly to achieve it because I'm tired of getting overwhelmed.
My daughter is at that age where she wants my constant attention. She has like a 2 second attention-span and gets into everything so it's not easy to do much else. I more or less just feel bad for my husband because I'm sure he misses his clean shirts and matching socks.
But I have vowed to set some changes, get motivated, and get things done in order to be super mom worthy and achieve the art of balance. I am going to be working soon again (I guess I should be applying for jobs first) and going back to school in the fall for Fashion Merchandising. If I'm going to be doing all these things plus being a mom and wife, I am either going to need to be hopped up on some dangerous amounts of caramel frapps and Coca-cola all day, or finding that right balance and energy I need to accomplish everything. If not for my family, for my sanity. I have found it's not the quantity of time you spend on something, it's the quality of time. When I have balance and equilibrium in my life...things fall into place. Things are easier. Lately, everything has been so scattered and it sends me into disarray not knowing what to tackle.
So. I have a devised a master plan. Obviously since my countless attempts of wishing and dreaming things away wasn't working, I am just going to have to find a place for everything to fit into my crazy life.
First, I need to get healthier. I've always been anemic or borderline so my energy levels are always dropping. I don't get much sleep (I still love you Payton) so I just try to get through the day with as much grace as I possibly can without falling over and going into some kind of sleep coma state. I am going to drink more water and start taking vitamins again because for me at least, it really gives me that boost in energy.
Second, I am going to start a weekly routine of things to get done each day. Such as, laundry on Mon, Wed, Fri. Also, making a weekly meal plan menu. This will allow me to stay organized and on track.
Third, I want to try to start getting ready earlier in the morning. I like to rock the PJs most of the day if I'm not planning on going out. This might be a hard one to give up...Hey, one of the perks of being a stay-at-home mom.
Okay. So it's not really rocket science, but it's taken me awhile to realize this is what I need to do. Being a mom is hard work and it can be all-consuming, draining, the most fun and biggest blessing in your entire life.